Today’s snippet is taken from my light-hearted shifter short story Tortoise Interruptus, which is due out in its second edition next week:
Our hero, Tip, suffers from one of those inconvenient shape-shifting curses so beloved of 70s TV shows and movies (anyone remember Big John, Little John? The Shaggy DA?) – at any moment, he’s liable to turn into a tortoise, and stay that way until without warning turning back to human. Due to circumstances beyond his control, he’s found himself, in tortoise form, locked in the hotel room of a stranger:
…the door opened and a man walked in. Which might not have been a disaster—except that at that moment Tip’s chelonian curse ran out of juice, and he changed back to human.
The book went flying as Tip shot up to what, in his case, passed for man size. Wobbling slightly as he remembered how to balance on two feet, Tip stood, hands cupped in front of his bits in the traditional oh-my-god-I’m-naked pose, staring at the best-looking man he’d ever seen. At least if he was going to die here, he thought fatalistically, he’d have something nice to look at as he went.
The tall, dark and (in the circumstances) rather worryingly well-muscled stranger goggled.
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Cursed by an impatient witch to turn into a tortoise at inopportune moments, Tip is horrified to find himself tortoise-napped by a customer at the cafe where he works.
Things start to look up when Tip ends up very literally in the capable hands of drop-dead gorgeous Steve—but Tip soon begins to wonder just how far he can trust Steve, who turns out to have a close connection with his kidnapper. Tip’s attempts at a normal life seem doomed to remain frustrated in more ways than one!
Inspired by a real-life incident. Yes, really.
Due out in a second edition on 28th January 2017 (and available to pre-order now at a discount from JMS Books):
Now that’s a different sort of shifter! Poor Tip.
LOL!! Love this moment!
So funny – and embarrassing 🙂
LOL! Fun snippet. Loved “At least if he was going to die here, he thought fatalistically, he’d have something nice to look at as he went.” And I want to know about the real life incident…
Bahahaha! I’m a HUGE fan of those cheesy ’70s movies/tv shows. This is hilarious.
Well, you can’t blame the darkhaired stranger. Anyone would be surprised at that! 🙂
Such a fun snippet! But poor Tip!
LOL. This is hilarious! You write humour brilliantly! (Love the book title and cover, too.)